Bah humbug to New Year’s Resolutions

Bah humbug to New Year’s Resolutions

Marina Y Sanchez
Freelance Columist

The New Year is always a time to reflect the changes we want or need to make.

 But what is just as common as making these New Year’s resolution is breaking them. New Year’s resolutions are doomed for failure.


Well anyone can claim they want to start a certain activity or start doing something for them self. For instance, I would love to exercise more. LOVE! Maybe go running, jogging, maybe take up some Zumba or Yoga. However, I am a realist. As much I want it, I can’t have it. Key is my motivational cup is empty.

It’s true. I can say I wanna exercise. However, there are a lot of things I want to do. For example I would want to go to Disneyland but I know I won’t be going anytime soon. What A Bummer!

And because I can’t keep a resolution neither should you! And I say this in my best Veruca Salt voice complete with foot stamping and everything.  

So I feel it’s best that we look at a few common resolutions that we just so fail to keep.

1. Losing weight.

Isn’t this a bit cliché? How can I say this without sounding cruel? Hmmmm. There are tv reality shows dedicated to helping individuals lose weight and someone wants to, on a whim, make that a New Year’s resolution?!  This is where my WTF phrase would be perfect to say!  To consciously make the decision to lose weight is a serious one! Not one to throw out there for the mere poop and giggles. Or to appease our fellow resolutioners. If you feel you need to lose weight, start now. Awaiting for a designated time like New Year’s Day is not going to be the great start you would need. Losing weight takes determination, strong will, and motivation to achieve your goal. These all things I know nothing about so that’s how I know. If you decide your start day to losing weight begins January 1st, then I give you five days before you are screaming,”Mayday Mayday  I am going down fast. Boss brought in a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. I am halfway through the box! Mayday Mayday!”

2. Quit Smoking.

Are you still smoking? Smoking was cool in the 70’s. Now it’s just really gross. Life has moved on and apparently if you still smoke I expect to see you in flower power duds. Nobody smokes anymore expect old people and foreign people. Come on now. I don’t need to point out the fact of how unhealthy it is, but do I gotta stress how u-g-l-y it will make you. And to be ugly is so dated.  Making the choice to quit is a serious one. Duh your health and that is something you should never play with! If that is seriously your goal, then you need to start now. Put the cigarette down. Down! I have flushed a pack down the toilet before. Don’t make me do it again. Postponing it for January 1st is not serious. I expect you to fail it you do. I know it’s a process and a total life changer to quit. If it’s what you decide or need to do, don’t make it a resolution. Make it a total life change.

 Make it the whole new you that should have been there since the 70’s. Do it for your lung, your throat, the wrinkles coming out of your face. But do it! Do it now. And don’t chalk it up to some New Year Resolution. Cause New Year’s day comes and goes. So can that resolution.

3. More compassionate to man.

Are you serious? Hold on let me put down my bon bons. Ok, now are you serious? As opposed to what you where before? Were you a total jerk? Chances are you were not. However if you are, maybe this was something you should have started many resolutions before. Whether you are a jerk or not is not the point. Striving to being a better, compassionate person is something we should be trying to do everyday not just throwing in a resolution list. It’s in our power to always be kind, loving, and patient. I really think this is the dumbest resolution yet.  Don’t just do this for a month, or even a year. Apply it for the rest of your life. And don’t chalk it up to some resolution. Make it your own.

Experts are everywhere trying to help you make the right resolution for this year. Experts are giving advice to helping you make good on your resolutions.

Blah Blah Blah.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about making a personal commitment to change. But with resolutions, the personal part was thrown out the window.  And again, it comes down to it just being for poop and giggles.

Resolutions are meant to be broken. Or at least make a good blog for the first couple of weeks.

Enough said.

This entry was posted in Comedy, Funny, Holidays, Humor, New Years Resolutions, Opinion, Sarcasm and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Bah humbug to New Year’s Resolutions

  1. thypolarlife says:

    LOL, I did a post on resolutions and how ridiculous it is to make empty promises to yourself. I decided to make promises to my family this year instead. Happy New Year!

  2. laura says:

    my new years resolutions:

    1. sleep more

    2. give less to charity

    3. be less productive at work yet manage to get a raise

    4. prey more

  3. ptz camera says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more, anyway l love your site layout. Is nice and clean.

  4. ptz camera says:

    Nice work! great website

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